A Portuguese immigrant loses his job

A Portuguese immigrant by the name of Jose Mourinho, popularly known as Maureen, lost his job in London yesterday. It is reported that for three consecutive years Maureen failed to compete with El Maestro from Liverpool eventualy leading to his current state of unemployment. Maureen has also been credited as being instrumental in creating an over-inflated transfer market.

During his tenure at Chelsea, Maureen was unable to bring to the club European glory in three attempts. Though he did win the EPL twice but for club with a majority of its fan base in Russia, it was of little significance. In 2005, Maureen created a controversy by attempting to buy an Englishman from Liverpool. The fans of Liverpool football club found it very offensive. In the same season, Maureen made an offensive gesture towards the Liverpool fans in the final of the Carling Cup by signalling to them with his finger on his lips. Despite being beaten by Liverpool in Champions League encounters in 2005-6 and 2006-7, he refused to accept defeat. Maureen proposed that the winner should be the one who moans the maximum, and as he had out-moaned El Maestro of Liverpool, he should be declared the winner. The UEFA panel rejected Maureen's attempt to reform football.

During his term, Maureen compared Barcelona's football pitch with a swimming pool, Lionel Messi with a diver, called Arsene Wenger a voyeur and Alex Fergusson a cheat. Maureen always had ready excuses for losing. It was either the referee or injuries or because "we were not ready". Having lost to Liverpool twice in Champions League, once in FA Cup, once in Community Shield and a comprehensive defeat in EPL last season, meant that the Russian tycoon's patience was running out. Another dismal start to this season took things a bit too far. The performance against Rosenborg was just unbearable. And finally acted as a catalyst to his exit.

Maureen, though, in recent times has shown that he is an expert on the subject of eggs. He classified eggs into three categories in a remarkable revelation. Speculation is rife that he will be using the compensation receipts from Chelsea to start a poultry business. On the other hand, in Liverpool business continues as normal.

One goes, another takes his place. Sam Allardyce moved in quickly to take Maureen's place as the "Manager with no control over his tongue". Daniel Agger is currently considering a proposal to christen the "Tortilla de Patatas" served in his restaurant as "Maureen Egg with Potatoes".

As the flavor is distinctly Spanish our music video has to be Spanish :-