King Of Football Management

I recently saw the Marcatoon on Messi and Ronaldinho and this is a spin-off :-

Alex Fergusson: Look, son. I am the King of Football Management. I have won more trophies than any other manager.

Avram Grant: Wow, you must be good papa, because you've won all of this without even beating Mourinho at Stamford Bridge.

Alex Fergusson: The time that you are the best rises and falls like the sun. One day I will cease to be King and you will substitute me!

Avram Grant: I'll be the world's best team's manager?

Alex Fergusson: I said you'll be the best, not that you'll manage United! *infectious laughter*

Avram Grant: I'll throw my boot at my best player? And Roman will let me do whatever I want?

Alex Fergusson: Son, being the best means much more than always getting what you want...but it's so much fun! You can shout at the referees and cheat! *infectious laughter*...

Rafael Benitez: Trust me, brothers, when my players come back from International duty, I will defeat you both and be the new King! *evil laughter*

Todays music video is a beautiful song with a beautiful girl singing it...

A Portuguese immigrant loses his job

A Portuguese immigrant by the name of Jose Mourinho, popularly known as Maureen, lost his job in London yesterday. It is reported that for three consecutive years Maureen failed to compete with El Maestro from Liverpool eventualy leading to his current state of unemployment. Maureen has also been credited as being instrumental in creating an over-inflated transfer market.

During his tenure at Chelsea, Maureen was unable to bring to the club European glory in three attempts. Though he did win the EPL twice but for club with a majority of its fan base in Russia, it was of little significance. In 2005, Maureen created a controversy by attempting to buy an Englishman from Liverpool. The fans of Liverpool football club found it very offensive. In the same season, Maureen made an offensive gesture towards the Liverpool fans in the final of the Carling Cup by signalling to them with his finger on his lips. Despite being beaten by Liverpool in Champions League encounters in 2005-6 and 2006-7, he refused to accept defeat. Maureen proposed that the winner should be the one who moans the maximum, and as he had out-moaned El Maestro of Liverpool, he should be declared the winner. The UEFA panel rejected Maureen's attempt to reform football.

During his term, Maureen compared Barcelona's football pitch with a swimming pool, Lionel Messi with a diver, called Arsene Wenger a voyeur and Alex Fergusson a cheat. Maureen always had ready excuses for losing. It was either the referee or injuries or because "we were not ready". Having lost to Liverpool twice in Champions League, once in FA Cup, once in Community Shield and a comprehensive defeat in EPL last season, meant that the Russian tycoon's patience was running out. Another dismal start to this season took things a bit too far. The performance against Rosenborg was just unbearable. And finally acted as a catalyst to his exit.

Maureen, though, in recent times has shown that he is an expert on the subject of eggs. He classified eggs into three categories in a remarkable revelation. Speculation is rife that he will be using the compensation receipts from Chelsea to start a poultry business. On the other hand, in Liverpool business continues as normal.

One goes, another takes his place. Sam Allardyce moved in quickly to take Maureen's place as the "Manager with no control over his tongue". Daniel Agger is currently considering a proposal to christen the "Tortilla de Patatas" served in his restaurant as "Maureen Egg with Potatoes".

As the flavor is distinctly Spanish our music video has to be Spanish :-

Outsourcing, India and Homer

Before I start with Outsourcing and India, I just want to mention that Microsoft has lost out in the antitrust lawsuit in the EU. Sounds good. People should have more choices. Not that it affects us Indians in any way. We always choose piracy. So we will continue to use pirated versions of whichever software we need. And we promise we will never sue Microsoft as long as they outsource all the jobs to India.
Now, that brings us to outsourcing and everyone's favourite English speaking country in the world, India. Having been closely associated with the outsourcing industry since its evolution in India, I can assure everyone that it is the only industry in India that flouts every Human Resource Law. People are made to work for 12 hours a day without being paid for the extra hours, they are underpaid and are made to work six day weeks and have to work even on national holidays. And this is the state not at just small companies but the large organizations like Dell! And on top of that you also expect good service? Stop kidding.
First let us understand outsourcing. Here is a video that explains outsourcing :-

But despite all this we march on. We never give up. Go! India! Eventualy every English speaking nation will be governed by India! Hopefuly by that time I would have escaped to Andalucia.
And as we have been on this topic its only befitting that our today's music video be an Indian song :-

Nynne and the empty hoses..!

‘Oh Brancepeth,’ said the girl, her voice trembling, ‘why haven’t you any money? If only you had the merest pittance - enough for a flat in Mayfair and a little weekend place in the country somewhere and a couple of good cars and a villa in the South of France and a bit of trout fishing on some decent river, I would risk all for love.’
- from "Lord Emsworth and Others" by Sir P.G. Wodehouse.

I haven't just randomly got hooked to the subject of women, not that it really needs a reason, but first, I came into posession of the fact that Gloria Estefan is 50 years old and second that I just saw the Danish movie "Nynne".
There has to be some mechanism of finding out a woman's age. I mean, for all you know Gloria looks like someone in her thirties. Anyway, I have to get used to calling her Aunt Gloria from now on.
Coming to the topic of "Nynne". I think that movie making in Denmark should be banned alltogether. They have absolutely no right to make fun of the audience. Movies like "Nynne" and some of the other Danish movies I have seen actualy thrive on the fact that the audience merely has the intelligence to just about open their mouth when they want to eat. Its the story of a woman who is very lonely (in her thirties), having sex with almost everyone around her, and we are supposed to sympathise with her that she isn't able to find Mr.Right. The only saving grace is that Mille Dinesen is a very good looking woman, and we get to see her nude.
Getting away from the topic of the fairer sex for just a little while, an Albanian fishmonger set fire to his van in a burst of anger after the national soccer team lost to the visiting Dutch side, and firefighters failed to extinguish the blaze because someone had stolen their water. Vilson Alushi had vowed to burn his fish-delivery van if Albania failed to win a point against the Netherlands on Wednesday. Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy put paid to his hopes with a goal in injury time to end the game 1-0. Alushi duly doused his car with gasoline in the centre of the southern town of Delvine and watched indifferently as his friends alerted the firefighters, newspapers reported. They arrived promptly on the scene and unreeled the hose, only to find it was dry. It seems that residents living near the fire station had drained the tank to help them cope with Albania's chronic water shortage.
The women must have drained all the water. Its so like them!
Since we are on the topic of women, today's video is Flamingosi's tribute to womankind - "La Gitana"...